Dear very good, but not best, friend, Liver,
I want to apologize for my behavior last night. I really don't know what gets into me and makes me lose my senses.
We've been friends our entire lives and I was kind to you for several decades. But age has made me cruel and thoughtless.
Our days are typically great and our evenings begin on a positive note too. We converse over a glass of wine or a cranberry vodka while I prepare our dinner. After dinner we continue our pleasantries. And that is when things begin to sour. I can't stop what has begun. Sometime we continue to chat and dance over several glasses of bourbon. My new friend, Elijah Craig, whispers naughty words in my ear. But I finally totter off to bed. You are left to clean up the mess. You try to help me, but I am usually too out of it to do much for myself.
The next day you are in pain, hurting from last night's cruelty. But dear friend, you make me suffer as well. My head pounds and my stomach churns. I want to just lay I the couch and whimper.
I think I know what will help... A Bloody Mary or a Stella, a pound of bacon and some scrambled eggs.
Until next weekend, my friend!